I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
