We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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