im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
