Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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