I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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