...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
