I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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