Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
