it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cut my penus on the lid.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
