how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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