I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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