is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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