Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
