i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
