So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
