I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
