Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
