She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've blown a few things in my day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
