no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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