Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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