I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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