new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
3 2 1 whiskey
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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