All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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