When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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