u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
