...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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