I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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