I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
