youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
