It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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