i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I want a musical about memes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize