im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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