There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
