I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
