omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
