I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
