...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
