Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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