Umm I'm too high to move.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
