he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
