Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize