and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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