"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
