She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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