I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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