Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
whose parrot is this?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
