Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm always down for nudity.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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