While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
