well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
