I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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