Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize