Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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