seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize