I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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