To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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