If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
nutella sex= disaster
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
