i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
