I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
