It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
