I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
