Tell her she can't have a vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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