We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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