No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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