I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Less talking, more tequila
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
